H.I.T. Self Defense

Millions of people use the internet every day; it’s a great way to connect to friends, family and people all over the world. It can also be the perfect environment for predators to target potential victims. Just like a predator in a parking garage or on a jogging path, the online predator is looking for a vulnerable target. But online, the attacker is truly transparent and anonymous - and may be posing as a “friend”. Although the media portrays online predators as older men posing as younger adults, the majority of online related sexual assaults are actually perpetrated by men who do not hide their age. These predators use manipulation and enticement to prey on the insecurities and vulnerabilities of their victims. I’d like to focus on strategies for staying safe on social networking sites (SNS) and also safety precautions for those of you who may be using internet dating sites.

Online Social Networking Sites

Your ability to read what friends and family are doing, feeling, listening to, watching, etc. can make you feel connected. But how much information is too much information in a virtual community? There is no buddy system for the web; you have to be your own advocate while you’re online and use common sense. It’s ironic that the personal information you provide online for networking sites is called a “profile” because predators are using that same information to do exactly that, profile you. Where do you live? How old are you? Are you single? What are your interests? Are you male, female? You get the point. The more personal information that you provide, the easier it is for predators to target you.

Safety on Social Networking Sites

I would say the number one thing you can do to stay safe while using any SNS is to be cautious about how much personal information you provide on any site. I’d even go so far as saying it’s o.k. to be paranoid about what kind of information you provide. Online predators make it their job to scour your personal information looking for some way to befriend you. They may see that you like running and then try to befriend you through a running forum. So instead, be vague and say you like “sports”. Never post your phone number, address or e-mail…anywhere. If a SNS site needs this information to set up a profile, make sure you check the boxes to “hide” this information in your personal preferences page. Instead of using any part of your real name for a screen name, use initials, or some made up word. Do not post any provocative pictures of yourself. Although it seems harmless to share these types of photos with your friends, one click of a mouse and your racy pic could be posted all over the web without you ever knowing. Lastly, do not befriend anyone you do not personally know. Predators are pros at creating fraudulent profiles based on your personal information. So, if you haven’t met the person requesting a friendship, do not accept their request.

Dating Site Safety

There is nothing wrong with wanting to expand your dating circle by trying to connect with someone you meet online. In fact, unlike a social networking site, the whole point of a dating site is to meet someone you don’t know. But very much like social sites, you still need to be very cautious. Before you fill out the profile information, read the privacy policy for that website. You will obviously need to provide specific information about yourself and your preferences when you sign up, but try to narrow the posted information from your profile as much as possible. (address, workplace, last name). And again, do not allow the site to publicly post your phone number or e-mail. It’s o.k. for online purposes to use a nickname.

Take it slowly. Get to know someone online first - through the dating site. Do not share your e-mail or phone number with anyone until you are absolutely sure you want to meet them in person. If you do decide to meet someone, take charge of the date. Try to meet them in a very public place during the day. If you can include some friends, do it. At the very least let a friend know exactly when and where you are going and when you’ll be back. I know a woman who said she would call her friend at the beginning of a date and give her friend the guys license plate number. Now that’s someone looking out for their own safety. Drive yourself to the date location - you do not want this stranger knowing where you live.

As a parting thought, I read an interesting statistic about online dating site users. 11% of them were married. And those were just the one’s that admitted it. So my point…be your own advocate and be suspicious. As I mentioned previously, SnS sites and dating sites are a great way to connect. However, you need to be vigilant about your safety.

I hope this helps.
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Stay safe.